havreberg.com

So I “finished” my head, then I “finished” the body, then I started some other stuff and scrapped it, then I worked on the hands and now I have a nearly complete head and body . By “finished,” I mean locked down the model and planned to make only texture, rigging, or displacement changes. I realized, and I should have sooner, that this can be a bit more flexible than I was thinking. As long as I get a high-res displacement map out of zBrush for a model with similar UVs and proportions, I can have some differences in topology. If I just bring in the new model, apply the displacement map, and correct any issues that arise where the topology is too different or where the map detail is insufficient (which will hopefully be rare), I should be good to go.

So where am I? I can probably call this done even though it has no textures and is not posed. I started a base mesh from scratch and also messed around with my fatbody for a while last night for the monster , but part of me wants to be crazy and push my self portrait around until it matches. Especially considering I forgot the monster has ears. I was tired last night. If I do use the self portrait base mesh, I will have to employ the technique mentioned above of using the same displacement map on meshes with different topology. So I will add geometry for the tail and the horns and put them into an undisplaced spot in the map, then add their details in zBrush. I really hope this works… because I haven’t read any direct mention of it and I am banking on it rather heavily. I have a tendency to do that it seems. Maybe there is an easier way.

So what’s next? Probably adding some geometry for the insides of the mouth and eyes (again), then making a bunch of UV groups… I was thinking I might just use sets because I don’t want to actually lay out the UVs right now, but a) I don’t have to actually lay them out (although somehow it will be tempting), just put them into separate UV tiles, and b) any added geometry has a decent chance of finding its way into the right UV group, whereas I think it would have to be manually added to a set. And I’m going to have to do stuff with UVs later anyways. Parentheses abound.

So… add cavity and eye geometry, make UV groups, turn myself into the monster without a tail or horns, generate displacement map, add tail and horn geometry in maya, detail in zBrush. Assuming the base mesh can hold up, that sounds feasible in the next few days maybe. I hope.

And then? Decide whether I’m going to rig one or both of these, turn the self portrait into the painting portrait , make a new model, fix up the frog, rig the slugs, or what. I’m thinking it will be painting portrait, new model, or rig these suckers.

One last thing. I probably should have dove head first into zBrush a while ago instead of relying on Maya for so much detailing. The idea is that when I rig a model, the more carefully crafted base mesh will speed up or otherwise simplify rigging than would a more generic or boxier base mesh. I don’t know if this is true. It probably has to do more with me being somewhat overwhelmed with the additional freedom that zBrush offers. It is kind of too easy for me to screw up a model. I guess the more time I spend, the less true that will become. Hopefully the next few days will be valuable, because the last few times I tried anything in zBrush the results were somewhat tragic.

So that’s over. The finals I mean. It went pretty horribly, but architecture ended up better than I hoped, so that’s good. I’m not going to bother getting into details. Because no one reads this anyways, and I don’t need to record for posterity my anxiety about my grades, which will be resolved in four days.

So I’ve been working on a self portrait model. The idea is to make a 3d version of the self portrait I did for painting last spring. But I am also kind of wanting to make a completely realistic texture and everything. I only have until the end of August to work on this 3D stuff to resolve the incomplete from spring. I’m not sure what direction it will take. The goal was to finish the head this weekend, and I’m kind of close… it needs ear detail and some tweaks around the nose and mouth. And I want to add more eye detail like tear ducts. Maybe that amounts to one efficient night’s work. And I am supposed to spend this week making the body for the self portrait. I will probably end up just going straight to the distorted body instead of first making a realistic body as I had planned. Perhaps in the interest of time. Because I am a tweakaholic and if I’m going for realism, this self portrait is the only thing I’ll finish (if I finish it) this summer. Then it’s on to two more models I can hopefully finish each of the next two weeks.

I kind of want to do some cartoony stuff… Bring some characters to life. But at the same time I want to make cool detailed monsters. I suppose I am nowhere close to either goal. I am just very pressed for time…. I need to make a nice bunch of work before next spring so I can get an internship to get my foot in the door. Spring is a thousand years away, but I have just seen what a semester’s worth of non-3d classes can do for 3d productivity. Which is to annihilate it.

So I suppose you can see one of the most recent pictures of the self portrait . The texture is just a modified planar projection for testing purposes, which is why the hair in the back of the head is slightly nonexistent. I have been struggling a bit with perspective/orthographic issues and made some (slow) progress when I finally decided to take some physical measurements. I suppose people develop an eye for this sort of thing over time, but just starting out it’s kind of crazy to think of making a likeness from a few images when I can barely get a resemblance staring at myself in the mirror for hours. Hopefully this doesn’t mean I’m simply not cut out for this stuff, but rather that I just need practice. And hopefully I’ll have the time to practice and improve in the coming months. I’d like to maybe do portraits of some friends or family members, or maybe some interesting-looking celebrities. And caricatures. And the list goes on… because I want to do anatomy-based rigging and cartoony facial animation and general animation exercises… To some extent, the sky is the limit. But to another, February is. Because that’s probably when I need to have something to show if anyone is going to take a chance on me.

It has become apparent recently that I sort of wasted the last 4 years of my life. Hopefully this trend can be reversed.

I almost dove right into productivity and frog modeling this morning. I’m glad I didn’t.

I’m not sure if it’s due to the fact that I’m taking a painting class, the disillusionment and inefficacy animation, an unnurtured interest in illustration that refuses to be ignored, maturation as an artist, general curiosity, or what, but I’m getting more and more interested in two-dimensional stuff, concept art, character design, and somewhat bizarre or surreal organic forms. Which leads me to today’s sites. Which I haven’t fully explored yet, but I hope to after the frog is done.

http://www.1000tentacles.com/

And for the second one there isn’t much of a site for the work specifically. There are some CGTalk posts by a member named Blackheart Gang, with some cool stills. I should make a point to learn more about this. And also come up with better words than ‘cool’ and actually talk about why I like certain art. Maybe some day.

Oh, and somewhat surprisingly, I received the instructor approval for which I so greatly yearned for my froggish self portrait. Suggestions include making it delicate or graceful (or some other related word, I can’t remember exactly what she said) and not really cartoony or hokey, and thinking about the symbolism. I should post an image of the sketch/composition I’m planning, but that’s really not interesting and when it’s done, if it’s successful, maybe I’ll put the finished thing up. WHAT AN ADVENTURE!

So I just spent about 45 minutes ‘hacking’ into the user database for Textpattern because i couldn’t remember my password. So. That was dumb. BUT I’M IN NOW.

Um… I haven’t written in a long time. A few things of note… Firstly, it has come to my attention that I’m a lot stupider than I used to be. This has probably come to my attention before as well, and the fact that I’m bringing it up again or think that it’s a novel concept is further evidence of my worsening condition.

I want to start doing a drawing every day. I doubt that will happen. I should take responsibility for my own actions. I frequently say “hopefully I’ll do [insert random productive/important thing].” It’s up to me though. So I really should just say I’ll do stuff, then do it. Time is a ridiculous thing. And so am I.

Um. Henceforth all paragraphs may very well start with ‘um.’ Capitalized of course. It’s 3:34 a.m. and I’m in the animation lab on campus. At least that’s what the computer says. It’s probably really only about 3:26, but it may very well be 3:34 by the time I finish typing this post. This was a worthless paragraph.

So I’m modeling a frog for my thesis project that isn’t really my thesis project. By which I mean that the project extends beyond thesis and that I never planned on finishing said project before the end of the term. It is mildly cool, and I am trying to put a lot of detail into it, but it is kind of taking forever which indicates to me that I kind of suck a lot.

Upcoming: conceptual self-portrait for painting. Possibly featuring frog legs and monkey feet.

Upcoming: finished frog.

Upcoming: A slightly miserable day because I won’t have slept and won’t have accomplished anything.

Upcoming: most likely an unfavorable instructor response to my idea for my self portrait. If you can even call it that.

Upcoming: more phrases preceded by the word ‘Upcoming.’

I lied.

A subtle sense of paranoia is sinking in.

Maybe it’s just a lack of sleep and abnormally high levels of pumpernickel consumption.

I feel alone right now. I am in fact alone, but for some reason I am presently very aware of this. Considering it’s 4:30am, I couldn’t likely expect to be anything but alone, but I feel like I’ve been pushing people away in order to focus on this animation project. Being alone has never been a problem, and I was never troubled when bitter associates speculated I would remain so forever. You might even say I prefer being alone, able to focus on whatever interests me for as long as I see fit. But now that I am actually dedicating some time and effort to this notion and creative pursuit, I am growing increasingly fearful that I will fail. Or that even if I succeed with the project at hand, it won’t be enough. But nothing has ever been enough, and I don’t know that it ever will. And I am still unable to answer the question, “enough for what?”

In addition, I am growing dumber as time passes. Or perhaps my knowledge is just becoming more specialized. I need breadth and depth. I currently have neither.

In case you are wondering, I am aware of the ridiculousness of this post.

And now for the work I should have done five hours ago.