havreberg.com

So I just invented this idea called “Site o’ the Day.” It’s revolutionary. It’s like I’m like some kind of pioneer or something. Blazin’ trails like nobody’s business.

Keep in mind that not all days will have sites.

I guess what’s happening is, in an attempt to have more frequent posts, but also in an attempt to remember cool stuff that I see in a slightly more meaningful way than adding to my already ridiculous collection of bookmarks, my site will likely become what nearly all blogs tend to become: link orgies.

So hopefully I’ll have something meaningful to say when I post things. Or maybe when I start looking at sites, I’ll find one that’s cool, post it here, say something, then stop looking at crap and get back to work.

Anyways. Today’s site… the inaugural Site o’ the Day site… a site I should probably find out more about before linking to…. here it comes… Tim McBurnie ’s site and, specifically, his portfolio and the Dailyscribble archive. Apparently the portfolio is actually part of a different domain. Does that mean there are two sites o’ the day? That apostrophe is going to get annoying soon, if it didn’t already. Maybe I will develop some standard Site o’ the Day linking procedures.

I was going to say that because it is the inaugural site and because I already wrote a bit about the idea of the site of the day (I just gave up, and I’ll probably give up a llittle more next time), I don’t really need to provide any background or thought about it. But I will anyways. The first thought I had, looking through some of the other folks’ work in the Dailyscribble albums, was that I wish there was some cool illustration stuff going on at UCF with characters and the like that I could be a part of or have access to. It’s possible that there is and I’m just oblivious, or that even if there were I’d ignore it because “I don’t have time,” but I like to think idealistically. Maybe.

The second thing I was thinking was about Monsieur McBurnie’s work itself, about the loose blocks of color working with the crisper (but still fairly loose) line. I want to develop some looseness in my painting, where blobs of color can sit together and work with each other to convey a sense of form and light and color, instead of just looking crappy, which is what they generally do now. I mean to say I want to be able to quickly and spontaneously block in such areas, not having to labor over them forever to get them to look decent. Hopefully in time I will get better at this.

Much work lies ahead of me.
More anatomy, though I’m getting somewhat comfortable with it.
Gesture.
Caricature.
Hair, cloth, accessories.
Form revealed by light.

But for the moment, a frog and a self portrait preliminary drawing.

Maybe some time I’ll have a retrospective Site o’ the Day (I rested a little bit there, so I’m good now) where I list some random things that stick out from the past. Or maybe I’ll get into the habit of posting a few each time I find something new. Like right now:

Caroline Delen

Rey Bustos

I guess that will be all for today.

So I just spent about 45 minutes ‘hacking’ into the user database for Textpattern because i couldn’t remember my password. So. That was dumb. BUT I’M IN NOW.

Um… I haven’t written in a long time. A few things of note… Firstly, it has come to my attention that I’m a lot stupider than I used to be. This has probably come to my attention before as well, and the fact that I’m bringing it up again or think that it’s a novel concept is further evidence of my worsening condition.

I want to start doing a drawing every day. I doubt that will happen. I should take responsibility for my own actions. I frequently say “hopefully I’ll do [insert random productive/important thing].” It’s up to me though. So I really should just say I’ll do stuff, then do it. Time is a ridiculous thing. And so am I.

Um. Henceforth all paragraphs may very well start with ‘um.’ Capitalized of course. It’s 3:34 a.m. and I’m in the animation lab on campus. At least that’s what the computer says. It’s probably really only about 3:26, but it may very well be 3:34 by the time I finish typing this post. This was a worthless paragraph.

So I’m modeling a frog for my thesis project that isn’t really my thesis project. By which I mean that the project extends beyond thesis and that I never planned on finishing said project before the end of the term. It is mildly cool, and I am trying to put a lot of detail into it, but it is kind of taking forever which indicates to me that I kind of suck a lot.

Upcoming: conceptual self-portrait for painting. Possibly featuring frog legs and monkey feet.

Upcoming: finished frog.

Upcoming: A slightly miserable day because I won’t have slept and won’t have accomplished anything.

Upcoming: most likely an unfavorable instructor response to my idea for my self portrait. If you can even call it that.

Upcoming: more phrases preceded by the word ‘Upcoming.’

I lied.

self-referential

autobiographical

worthless.

A subtle sense of paranoia is sinking in.

Maybe it’s just a lack of sleep and abnormally high levels of pumpernickel consumption.

I feel alone right now. I am in fact alone, but for some reason I am presently very aware of this. Considering it’s 4:30am, I couldn’t likely expect to be anything but alone, but I feel like I’ve been pushing people away in order to focus on this animation project. Being alone has never been a problem, and I was never troubled when bitter associates speculated I would remain so forever. You might even say I prefer being alone, able to focus on whatever interests me for as long as I see fit. But now that I am actually dedicating some time and effort to this notion and creative pursuit, I am growing increasingly fearful that I will fail. Or that even if I succeed with the project at hand, it won’t be enough. But nothing has ever been enough, and I don’t know that it ever will. And I am still unable to answer the question, “enough for what?”

In addition, I am growing dumber as time passes. Or perhaps my knowledge is just becoming more specialized. I need breadth and depth. I currently have neither.

In case you are wondering, I am aware of the ridiculousness of this post.

And now for the work I should have done five hours ago.

I have gradually destroyed what some have deemed to be my best sculpture from last spring, the sculpey head . I started by correcting a few things that bothered me about it, giving it slightly more realistic lips and nostrils. It reached a point where it was better than the original (not necessarily a difficult task, but a noteworthy one). As I continued to “improve it” by changing some of the proportions, eventually I had ideas of a completely different direction in which to take it. However, realizing the armature underneath wasn’t fit for that task, I decided it would be better to start over completely. I wish I had taken pictures of the intermediate improved stage, because now it is a pile of sculpey bits and ill-arranged aluminum foil, hot glue, and wire. I think next time I make a sculpture I will take greater care in the armature stage. And although this is a friendly reminder of the fleeting nature of things, I think soon I will finally bake my other sculptures so as to avoid the urge to improve/destroy them at a later time.

A shiny new semester looms in front of me. I’m trying not to get my hopes up like last time, but it is difficult. I suppose I will only say that I am optimistic.

From http://www.mlkday.gov/ :
On January 16, 2006, as we celebrate the 20th anniversary of the Martin Luther King Jr. federal holiday, Americans across the country will celebrate by honoring the life and work of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Hundreds of thousands of Americans will remember and memorialize Dr. King by participating in service projects in their communities. Together, they will honor King’s legacy of tolerance, peace, and equality by meeting community needs and making the holiday “A day ON, not a day OFF.”

I guess I screwed that one up.